lost in the supermarket

Crazymakers. Drama queens. Energy suckers. Jerk faces.

Not only have I learned to identify them quicker, but I have also learned to dispose of them with more ease. Crazymakers used to be an excruciating challenge for me. In the past, I allowed them to hang on for years at a time. To steal a Hank Rollins term, I allowed them to ‘decorate’ my life.

But god-damn, it still hurts when I have to face the facts. It all happens so suddenly sometimes, people reveal themselves to be part of the ‘I have to put you down in order to feel good’ or ‘I have no hesitation about poisoning your life with my lack of self-esteem’ crowd.

And with some people, I know the whole time that I am going to keep my distance. I keep the relationships purely one-way. They can call and complain and seek guidance and attention – but the relationships never develop to a stage where I would even consider sharing my self with them/ revealing my vulnerabilities.

How many times have my dear friends heard me say it:
DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!

I have fewer friends now than I did 5 years ago. Those that would like to chalk that up to me being a judgmental bitch are probably the same people that have found themselves deleted from my life.

My compassion and empathy are still achingly present – but I have less time and patience for people who want to do the Tango of Drama.