rock me now

the pieces of this jigsaw puzzle have been laying on my coffee table for the last three years - as i have sat, paced, smoked, run to the store for refreshments, screened my calls. yes, this is a run-of-the-mill metaphor.

i am not use to trying to fit together a jigsaw puzzle when i have no idea what the end result is going to look like.... but something is finally emerging. some pieces are finally falling into place.

murphy’s law has grabbed me by the hand.

only days ago, i finally threw out the stack of handouts that i took at the orientation session (intake for volunteers) at one of the nonprofit organizations that i respect in vancouver. it has been months since i applied to be considered to become a sexual and reproductive health counsellor for this organization. i realized that i was up against nurses and doctors in training - vying for a once a week volunteer position. i threw out the pamphlets and accepted that it was going to be much harder than i had thought - to gain a practicum placement/ fulfilling volunteer position.

and then.... they called me. yesterday they phoned me. today i went for an interview. next week is my first of many training shifts. and barring any wacky happenings - i will be committing myself to working for them once a week for the next year. i am overjoyed and scared as hell.

the organization also seems to be very receptive to practicum students - and may go out of their way to ensure that the work that i do counts towards the completion of my certificate. how do you like them apples?

i kept thinking that dealing with my school was going to be a hurdle - but now... i really don’t care. i think that if the college is not willing to see that this is the *exact* volunteer position that i have been looking for, that i should just move on and accept the position regardless.

if i have to fight, i will fight.

in addition, i have a job interview for a *permanent* part time position working with a wonderful nonprofit organization. though i am not very familiar with this organization, i have been told that they are well respected, do good work with limited resources, and have some amazing people working for them. come next week, i may be one of those people.

i continue on with my volunteer position at the MS Society - as a peer counsellor. and now, i am a board member. i am not sure what i am doing there yet - but i have been driven to stay involved with them and i will trust that this is all for the best.

so... the dance card begins to fill up... the jigsaw starts to look like *something*... and i faintly remember what it was like to feel useful.

this is not ‘busy work’. this is work. paid or unpaid, it is a chance to fill my days with projects and people and learning - just like the good old days.