she's got you

Somehow, when I was with him, I was exactly who I am now and entirely unrecognizable as the woman you know. Completely me, yet entirely not myself.

I do not sway often, that much is true. Strident. Confident. Expressive.

But somehow, I was entirely different in his arms than in your arms. Today I wonder what you would think of me if you had seen how I was in my intimacy with someone else.

You know they are out there, women and men whose beds I have been in. It is abstract. Just words. Detached stories of ex-lovers. People from my past. Snippets. The stories are merely vehicles by which you may understand me, rather than actual people for you to know or learn about.

And I thought about it today. I thought about who you may have been in the arms of another.

Would I have liked you then? Would I have liked you wearing her kisses, wandering the city, eating in diners, talking politics, exchanging mixed CDs, getting drunk and scrambling for rides home, being in love?

Patsy Cline sings to me today.