choke hold / strangle hold

Sunday, February 27, 2005

if i wasn't shy

upon reflection + prompted by a recent discussion, i realize that i feel that a lot of assumptions are made about people based on whether they are shy vs. loud/outgoing. and being that i am unequivocally placed in the ‘loud/outgoing’ category - it is easier for me to pinpoint the negative things that are assumed about my ‘type’.

what’s more fun than stereotypes? nothing.

shy people are: thoughtful, kind, intelligent, intellectual, reserved, sheltered, interesting, studious, capable, focussed, diligent, enticing, mysterious, approachable, sexual energy just waiting to be harnessed, non-intimidating, snobby, slothful, caring, good.

outgoing people are: insecure, annoying, boastful, social, people-people, entertaining, confident, compensating, competitive, disrespectful, argumentative, sexually forward, confrontational, volatile, desperate, fun/ny, self-serving, energetic, predator/ial, bad.

because all of the assumptions that are made about loud people are *always* made about me, i long to know what it feels like to have the opposite assumed.

in fact, it is not that i would trade the assumptions made about me for the assumptions that would be made if i were shy. it’s moreso that i am amused at how many assumptions are made. period.

i have always enjoyed toggling back and forth between categories - which is hard to do when it comes to outgoing vs. shy. mighty hard indeed.

5 Comments:

At 10:17 AM, Blogger choke_hold said...

Happy as I am with my current state of intro-extroversion, let me help you with the 'shy' category:
socially incompetent, fearful, boring/not-fun/nothing to say, asexual, judgemental, pushover, weak, small.

People never know what to do with shy/quiet. They are made uncomfortable (as they imagine how uncomfortable the shy person must be to be so quiet!), they hum to cover silences (which I secretly adore). I still believe that shy exacerbates those tired old perceptions of my Chineseness. There is surprise and visible relief the first time I make a crass joke.

outgoing: fearless, articulate, intriguing, independent, open, magnanimous, generous/benevolent, dazzling.

 
At 7:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

People who assume, as you know, make an "ass" out of "you" and "Me"!
And frankly, I make an ass out of myself enough.
I think you a perfect. Hey, do you want to go to the Pedro The Lion and Low show?

 
At 2:05 PM, Blogger choke_hold said...

comment #1 was rabblerocket posing as choke_hold.

 
At 11:20 PM, Blogger rabblerocket said...

yes, it was me!

...although I do like to think about how shyness would exacerbate tired old perceptions of your Chineseness.

 
At 9:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

amen to rabblerocket-posing-as- choke_hold's additions.

shy - awkward, lonely, bookish
not-shy - popular, well-loved (in more than one sense of the word), successful, sometimes even lucky. yes, the not-shy have good luck! they're lucky to be not shy!

d.

 

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