die by the sword

Sexual and reproductive health seems to be the hot discussion item of the week… so let’s have a chat, shall we?

As y’all may remember from the post last year about my visit with Dr. Beaver, I have a lot to say about sexual health/ doctors/ the politics of health + fucking.

Yesterday, I went in for my bi-yearly (yes folks, that’s TWICE a year – not once every two years) STD/STI check plus pap smear. In this case, I also needed to renew my birth control prescription.

Thankfully, my regular GP was there and he asked me, in his fatherly way, if I was just doing the test as a precautionary measure or if I had been contacted by someone I had had sex with (to inform me that they had been infected with something). I told him that I was just there out of the goodness of my heart. We moved on to discussions of the local music scene and my current employment situation. He said nothing about the mouth shaped bruises on my inner thighs or my bald pussy. This time, things went as they should. And, despite my sense of care and responsibility about my sexual practices, I will hold my breath until I hear back from my doctor tomorrow.

Going to get tested for STDs/STIs + pap smears + breast exams + testicle exams + prostate exams + blood tests + mammograms + godknowswhatelse is not a super-fun thing for most people. But c’mon, a little scrapey-scrapey of the vagina or a q-tip in your urethra or a finger or two up your ass is really not that big of a deal. For some people it may be unpleasant or uncomfortable. Many people have had bad experiences with doctors (and believe me, I am someone who empathizes with you). However, it has SHOCKED me how unconcerned people are about their sexual and reproductive health.

Now, if I were acting as a sexual and reproductive health counselor for my friends I would be all fuckin’ nonjudgemental and informative and supportive. I would also not look at them and go “Are you fucking kidding me? You are 30 years old and you have never been tested for STDs/ never had a pap smear!!!??”. Luckily, I do not have to pretend that I am not blown away by people’s thoughts and responses in discussions of health and fucking.

This week I have been surprised to find out that
- a buddy of mine is not sure if he has ever been tested for ‘the full range’ of sexually transmitted infections. And, at the very least, he has not been tested since at least 6 partners ago.
- a buddy of mine has been functioning on the assumption that he cannot be infected by anything if he eats pussy without a dental dam.
- a buddy of mine feels that because he has only had a couple partners that he is not at risk for anything, seeing that he has always been in monogamous relationships.
- a buddy of mine is terrified of getting blood taken so has never been tested for anything that requires bloodwork.

Am I telling you that these people are jerks? No, totally not. It has just made me realize that sex and health stuff really needs to get talked about a lot more. So, let’s talk about it. I need to learn, you need to learn, and lord knows we are all gonna keep fucking and sucking – so why not do it in as safe of ways as is possible?

To be continued...