a headbanger's journey

Oh, the hipsters *do* love Montreal. Me? I think it is fine. To tell the truth, I think I had a better time in Ottawa than I did in our beloved province of frenchies. At any rate, I am going to lump everything together and give you a breakdown of my excursion.

Here is what was good:
- Fair trade/ organic/ biodegradable/ handed-over-in-a-biodegradable-plastic-bag runners that L found in a very small boutique on St. Denis. The shoes are adorable. Good call.
- Poutine. Yeah. Fair enough. Potatoes + oil + fat + cheese curds. No one does it like the Montreal people do it. (arteries) Go hard or go home.
- Friends! Got to hang out with some of the lovliest lovlies that I know.
- The architecture museum/ gallery thingie in Montreal. I could have spent another 2 hours there, but we had other plans to get to. Next time I will take chold with me.
- Question Period at Parliament!!! This was, by far, the highlight of my trip. The Conservatives look like little penguins all standing up and sitting down at the same time. Too many dark suits. I also wonder which Liberal policy wonk came up with the slogan "100 days of Harp-ocrisy, 100 days of shame!!!". I bet s/he is a little too proud of him/herself. The Liberals chanted this slogan at every possible moment.
- Airplane ride home. It was even better than the way there. Fun!
- The row house that we stayed at in Ottawa. It is pretty much my dream home, albeit the wrong location.
- Hull.
- Driving in Montreal.

Here is what I did not care for:
- The weather. It is safe to say that as a blanket statement. Hot. Humid. Hot. Groan.
- H & M. For all those that think this place is 'the shit', I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Really, it is time to get over it. One of these days they will open one up in Vancouver, and H & M will not seem so cool anymore.
- Smells. Montreal has way more bad smells than Vancouver.
- Fat phobia. I can't speak for Ottawa, but the fat phobia in Montreal seemed way more present, especially considering that they feed people poutine. How fucking crazy is that!?! Regardless, the women there were not any skinnier than they are here in Vancouver – they are just given much less choice as far as finding clothes goes. You think it is hard to find a size 12 or 14 in Vancouver… try finding a size 8 or 10 in Montreal. Ladies, get ready to look like a slutty sausage-monster, 'cause lots of the girls did in Montreal, and through no fault of their own.
- Falling down part of a flight of stairs. Terrible night vision of Multiple Sclerosis + my idiocy in not waiting for someone to turn on a light for me = me falling down several stairs. Seeing that I have broken my ankles several times, I was *sure* that the left ankle was a goner. It turns out to be a sprain. I request that no one kick me in the ankle for the next few weeks.
- Driving (and parking) in Ottawa.

Nuff said.