three most important girls

I was talking to U. about how when I was younger I remember what a struggle it was for me and my friends to keep jobs. It’s not that we would get fired or layed off or anything… it was just the idea of staying somewhere for more than a couple of months seemed astronomical. It may have also been that the majority of us were working under the table at shifty jobs because we were only 12 – 16 years old.

My best friend was a champion because she held on those extra months and stayed the FULL YEAR at mcdonald’s. We both agreed that this would look AWESOME on her resume. I think she quit mere days after her one year anniversary. Oh lord, it’s hard to find meaningful employment when you are young, suburban low class, straight-edge, and vegan.

And this brings me to my next point. This week I celebrate having completed my first 6 months at my current job. I passed the test. The results are in. It’s official. I am now a permanent employee (yeah, that’s right – just TRY and fire me!). Along with this, I receive a raise and a free lunch (yes, there IS such thing). In many ways, even after 6 months, I feel like I have just arrived here. I think I am gonna stick around for a bit, and not just because it is going to look so WICKED on my resume.

hank always wanted to be a dancer...

It’s days like this that I hope you have left the city.

I feel sweaty, clammy, pent up. My walk is uneasy, switching violently from an overconfident strut to a drunken stumble. I smile at some people as I am walking by. I get the impression that the smile that I am smiling doesn’t look at all how I want it to. I am gritting my teeth, sneering, looking away.

My skirt feels too voluminous, like it is going to blow sideways and show my panties. This will not be some Marilyn Monroe moment. Nothing about me feels sexy today – least of all the way my panties would look as I hightail it down Hastings. My shoes are falling apart. Looking at my shoes would lead you to believe that I am one of those ladies that always has lipstick on their teeth. Today I realize that the only reason that I am not one of those lipstick ladies is because I avoid the makeup thing altogether. There is always a method to my madness. Nevertheless, I will be throwing out these shoes the second I get home. They make me feel like my entire life is falling apart.

Days like this just kind of sneak up on you, like a bad ex-boyfriend (that you have prayed you would never run into).

cat and canary

only three of the people in that room knew why i got up and left so quickly. oh, i didn’t make a scene. of course not. these are not the kind of scenes i make. i just put my napkin down, quietly pushed my chair away from the table, sought out an unobstructed pathway towards the stairs, and made a beeline.

there were about ninety people there in the dining hall. ten of them were paid to serve us. the rest were academics, politicians, educators, esteemed guests.

we were gathered to honour scholarship. to honour those that use their academic/ research prowess to contribute to society/ community.

one (of the two awards given) went to a biologist who was inspired to create adaptive devices for disabled people (especially children) in order to help them more readily participate in daily life.

i love presentations that include visual aids. they make me feel like i am engaging in a story. they make the subject more tangible and fleshy.

though the award winner’s specialty was devices for children, he somehow designed a headband that is able to read brain waves. people can use their brain waves to control other simple devices.

on the projection screen was the image of a gnarled middle aged woman, laying painfully in a hospital bed. “With the use of this headband, our client is able to change the channels on the TV - despite her advanced state of Multiple Sclerosis”.

only three of the people in that room knew why i got up and left so quickly.